Fat bottomed girls you make the rockin' world go round

I am, shall we say, well upholstered. Thick, curvy, plump. All those euphemisms for fat. So I champion the cause of big girls being faaaaaaahbulous. It's not easy in a thin-obsessed world to be hot and heavy, but we do what we can.

So I was happy to find that my reviewee today, Mindy, is brave and honest enough to share her weight loss journey online. It's something I know I'd never be able to do, and I admire her very, very much for seeing herself as she is, wanting to love herself, and taking steps to be a better Mindy. You can be beautiful at any size, and it's awesome to see Mindy try to embrace that instead of hiding and being ashamed. Dealing with mental health issues on top of self-esteem issues ain't easy, and it's a hell of a thing to open all that up for the world to see.

Mindy's design is cute, cheerful, and hopeful, like she is. It's nicely organized and uncluttered if very girly, but girly is fine by me. And I really like the personal artsy touches.

But here comes the hard part.

Mindy has only blogging since May, so I cut her a little slack on the rambling, unfocused, bland posts. It takes a while, sometimes, to find your voice, to settle into what blogging means to you. But we're coming up on 6 months and there hasn't been a lot of forward motion.

There are way too many grammar and spelling snafus. She recognizes that she makes these mistakes, so that's something, but it did interrupt the reading process for me. There's a little thing called a comma -- use it: "I love the show I have the movie and the sound track I've even been to a couple showings of it back in the states." This is murder on my eyes and I just want to hit something. Please. For the love of Strunk and White, pay attention to what you put up on the screen. "I" should be capped, so should the beginning of a sentence, and the apostrophe is a time-honored tradition when possessing or conjuncting.

Look. We all make mistakes. Lord knows I do, too. But just try. Reread. Run the spell check. Edit yourself. You're putting these words out there for the world to see. This isn't your bedside doodle book. There's an audience, and you need to respect them by not wasting their time. Before you post anything, consider whether we care, whether you can make it interesting, whether there's a story to tell, whether it's readable and relatable and interestingable (I made that word up, but I'm allowed) or at the very least certifiable (we like crazy). If not, then email someone instead of posting. I'm not saying shut up -- just make it mean something.

There are glimpses of the inner deviant, flares of personality, but they are few. Mostly, it's "I did this, then I did this, and I pushed this boundary." Pushing boundaries is great, and it's so commendable that you're getting out and living your life and getting fit and taking care of yourself and making connections. But there's no voice, no rhythm, no hook. You are a sweet, sweet person with goals and dreams and hurdles to jump and bridges to cross and experiences to feel. I genuinely like you, and I'm not uninterested in learning about your journey, but you make it hard by not giving us any flavor, any flair. Florida Girl, who I love, is your buddy, and I bet she could tell us what an engaging person you are, but you're not putting it on the screen so well.

I get that you're not a writer, and for you blogging is more about the process of confession and connection than it is about composition. But as we've said again and again here at Ask, unless you've got a seriously compelling story to tell or a whiplash personality or a shit storm of a life, your writing better be engrossing or you're doomed to the shallow end of the blogging pool, bobbing around with swimmies on your arms and soaking in the piss of that kid who eats his boogers and smells like sprouts all the time. That may be overstating it, but I do like the metaphor. My point is you just end up one of squillions, mediocre. And, you know, that's fine. We don't all get to be Michael Phelps. (I just killed that whole swimming thing, didn't I?).

Mindy, do not be discouraged. Just do better. I want you to keep blogging because I know it's good for the soul. And for someone with social phobias to let it all hang out and to bring her blog to our attention takes balls the size of Buicks. Ultimately, I like you. I think you're nice and good and admirable and talented. Just don't settle for mediocre. And for extra pressure, I'll be watching. Step it up.







P.S. You're an American, use the damn Z key! (But that's hypocritical of me because when I write, I cross my sevens.)

P.P.S. Your art is adorable, and I love seeing it.