Wailing and flailing and trudging and flogging

My freshman year of high school I dated this guy who was weird and dark and full of hate. I had changed schools that year, from a preppy private school to a slightly less preppy public one. I mean, there was, like, cultural and ethnic variety. Ish. Sort of. Anyway, this guy was everything that all the All-American boys next door Young Republicans I'd been to school with for years were not. He was an artist, he liked Nine Inch Nails and Ministry and wore a ratty old army jacket and slept with a cleaver under his bed and called himself by his own name spelled backwards. He made me mix tapes and I blew him in the front seat of his Monte Carlo.

We were together about seven months before he came to his senses about me being really, really young, and I came to my senses about him being really, really weird. And I swore, from that day forward, never again. That was my first, last, and only brush with twisted little arty death boys who think they just might be the Antichrist.

And I've said too much.

Today's reviewee reminds me of that guy, that freaky little charming bastard. But with less charm. Therein lies my bias. I'm warning you ahead of time.

The design is a simple, abbreviated three-column layout that's really unnecessary. Stick with two. As Love Bites illustrated in her latest review, it's just overkill. Although there are very few extras on the blog, which is good. No blinking whoozits or badges or ads or anything. But the gray text on black background is hell on my eyes. I suspect "Thanatos" knows this and is just punishing us all, little death boy that he is.

He's been "blogging" for at least 3 years, but there's only a little over 100 posts. He admits in his profile that prior to 2008 he didn't do a lot of writing for his blog; it was mostly links and poetry and video. And speaking of poetry, his is angsty dark poetry, which I'm not sure I can fault him for as I'm so very guilty of the same. Well, I was when I was 19 anyway.

As for the writing, there are quite a few grammatical and technical problems that trip me up, especially apostrophes and the lack thereof. I suspect that's just laziness, and perhaps a bit to do with the whole ESOL thing. But it's annoying nonetheless.

Thanatos would like us to to believe that he's all I hate everything and fuck you and I don't care what you think and naneenaneebooboo and I'm so blasé and deep and twisted and complicated and people are stupid and I'm a smarty little judgmental angsty-pants.

Nihilism has never been attractive to me. And neither has misanthropy. Well, except for that one time in high school. Thanatos talks about cutting, which worries me. But then he goes and says things like, "Do something useful, pull a trigger," which, you know what Mr. The World Is a Vampire? Go fuck yourself. (And I know that seems hypocritical coming from a girl who doles out flaming fingers and laughs at comments about killing roommates, but still. I'm the boss of this review and I can do what I want.)

There are some glimpses of what's underneath, what's valuable. But there's no back
story. I assume he's in the States for school or work, but I could be wrong. He doesn't tell us anything. This is good. Real, even. And this, even though I'm now more sure than ever that this guy needs a couple of hours with Mistress Kiki and her stinging whip and a ball gag.

I hate the music he loves, and his profile says he doesn't read that much, so ultimately I just don't have a lot in common with Thanatos, and I'm kind of glad. Because he seems unhappy, really. Ok, so he likes Sasha Grey. Who doesn't? Yum.

In his submission form, Thanatos tells us his blog is: "A collection of rants, embedded youtube videos and obscure references that are increasingly reeking of self indulgence." I've got to hand it to him that he's at least self-aware. Thanatos, your blog up to about the last five months is an exercise in pushing people away. You posted things that don't matter, not to you or to anyone. It's throw-away crap and you know it. But there are a few redeeming posts lately, where you shrug off that mask of cynicism and morbid carelessness and show us the person underneath. Stick with that stuff. Write better and more frequently, otherwise what's the point, what are you blogging for?

I don't believe you at all when you say you don't care what we think, that your blog is just for you. You wouldn't have submitted here for your kick to the nuts (your words). If you want this blog to be worthwhile, if you want people to read what you say and care about it, lay off the surface jaded bullshit and give us something we can relate to. Or, if nothing else, something to entertain us. Because right now you're just swimming around in a pool of your own bile, and that can't be fun. Or, you know, hygienic.

Today you get








But keep on doing what you've been doing the last couple of months only better, and post more frequently and more meaningfully, and I'll revisit this rating.